Manual How to get along with Grumpy Kids (Grumpy People Book 2)

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It Doesn’t Bother Me When My Child Doesn’t Listen

Could these social facts be connected? I strongly suspect they are. They may begin to distrust themselves, believing that others know their body better than they do and that what they feel is unimportant. Children without control are very capable of knowing when they need to sleep, and less likely to resist meeting their own needs. Unless, that is, we try to run their bodies for them. Ever heard of a circadian rhythm? It can be influenced by light and temperature, which is why we sleep during the night and wake during the day, but not much else. In that case, there is no need to dictate to anyone when they should feel sleepy, their body has that covered.

Trying to put a child to bed who is not sleepy is fighting a losing battle.

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Instead of the rest you are after, all you end up causing is more stress for everyone. Have you ever laid in bed unable to get to sleep? Your mind incapable of switching off, and the longer you lay there the harder it gets to find sleep? Do you know what advice they give people suffering from insomnia in those situations? Get up out of bed and go back when you feel sleepy. Lying in bed thinking, worrying, upset, or busy doing other things is not good sleep hygiene. After many hours spent lying in bed fighting bedtime, children who are forced to bed unwillingly are likely to associate sleep with negative feelings.

In the pursuit of ensuring children get enough sleep, we may actually be setting them up to dislike and resist it.

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People have a right to bodily autonomy , and children are people too. How would it feel for someone else to decide when you should go to bed every night? Frustrating and disrespectful no doubt. It is the same for children. Children have the right to decide when they would like to sleep, which is not conditional upon them meeting your expectations. Many people are under the assumption that to teach children that they need to get adequate sleep, they must force them into a schedule.

But this is not teaching them anything except to obey orders. What happens when someone is no longer around to tell them what to do? The way we learn to make good decisions is by being allowed to make them. By making mistakes and learning from them. By figuring it out on our own, with support if needed. Being allowed to feel tiredness after staying up too late is not a life threatening situation! Let them work out their own sleep needs by being the ones in control of their decisions.

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Evening is commonly known as the most difficult time with young children. Kids want to connect with parents at the end of the day, especially if they have been separated. Having a set bed time is so restrictive! What if you have visitors? What if you want to have a family movie night?

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  8. Ditching bedtime is just so much more flexible! Giving up bedtime means no more nightly fighting or power struggles which so many complain of! This means a more peaceful home for everyone. There are so many great reasons to let go of a set bedtime! What does bedtime look like for autonomous kids? Why We Ditched Bedtime. Sara, I love reading all your posts and they help me strive for a more respectful approach to parenting. My husband and I struggle with bedtime and naps with my 3 year old. What was it like for you during the change with how you handled sleep with your two oldest?

    Have you written a post about that?

    Kid moody? First, breathe

    Ah yes, the fear of the transition; I can sooo identify with that! How can I help this situation? I have tried going to bed early myself and it backfires on me and kids think they can come in bed and jump around etc. They have always slept with us. I have a 6 month old who sleeps with me too so it makes it even trickier. I like e mornings though because everyone is fresh and new and all happy cuddles. So how do you do this then? This makes me feel so much better! I thought I was just being a lazy mum! I found trying to make my kids go to sleep was so stressful, that I gave in, and just let them go to bed when they are ready.

    My 1 year old tends to ask to go to bed around pm and my 3 year old likes to go to bed around 9pm, if they have a big day they will ask to go to bed earlier. I find it lets them decide their natural rythem, as they will wake in the morning according to how much sleep they needed. Sounds sweet unless you have multiple kids on different schedules and yet the adults still need to get to work on time, attend meetings, appointments, etc those pesky real life things that require people to be somewhere at a certain time.

    Child development 3–4 years

    Happiness is here. Kids need a bedtime routine.

    Adults need time to themselves after a long day at work and then playing and feeding the kids. This article is insane.


    No way in hell would I follow this advice. My husband is deployed overseas. On top of that, I go to school part time. My parents or my MIL watches them when needed. This article needs to rethink its priorities especially involving parents who work long hours. People have a right to decide basic things for themselves like when they feel like sleeping.

    Eating is also a basic need. Do they have a right to eat whatever they want?